My Friend When I Wasn't A Friend To Myself
by zaynub
Summary: Maya had always been an independent person. Although she was popular, she had a lot of internal issues, and never considered herself close to anyone. Everything changed when she met Riley. (This is just Riley x Maya friendship, nothing more.) Disclaimer: Rated M because will discuss mental issues such as self-harm, depression, etc.
1. Prologue

It was Maya's first day of high school. She dreaded the day, knowing that as soon as the kids found out she was from their rival middle school, people would look down at her. It wasn't anything new-in elementary school, people from town would always treat her like a lesser being because of her unique style, her dated clothes, and her lower economic status. Everyone treated her like a joke because they thought she was just as useless as her mom, an eccentric waitress at the pancake house. Maya always found it difficult that the only reason people didn't like her was because of her mom. Sure, it was a nice excuse to put the blame on someone. But she always thought that there was something besides her parentage and her appearance that made people dislike her. To her, it was her personality that swayed people from befriending her. No one ever tried to get to know her, and subsequently, she stopped believing she was a person worth knowing. By the time she started middle school, she learned to act a certain way in order to make friends-and boy, did she make a lot. She seemed to be well acquainted with the whole school, on speaking terms with nearly everybody, always in tune with all the gossip while at the same time maintaining everyone's secrets. Although many people knew her, she didn't have a lot of friends. Actually, she had never met a person who she could genuinely say knew her well enough to be close to.

This wasn't her first experience feeling this way, and it certainly wasn't the first time she was the new kid at school. Her mom had moved them around enough that she was accustomed to never staying for too long. Eventually, she evolved from her loner years of elementary school to becoming a more stable, popular person during middle-school. Despite this, years of constantly moving and never really becoming close to anyone led to the constant feeling of loneliness and that same certain aloofness she never seemed to get rid of. On the contrary, she was actually pretty well known in every school she'd gone to. But no matter who she became acquainted with, she never found a best friend in anyone. Other people trusted her, but she never opened up to them. She was a great listener, but no one ever listened to her, so she didn't talk much about her own life.

All of that changed on her first day at John Adams High School.


	2. Nice to meet you

The alarm beeped, signaling the start of the worst four years of Maya's life. Maya slammed the button on the clock and groggily spun out of bed. She got dressed and scrimmaged for breakfast, opting for the typical gourmet meal of milk and Frosted Flakes. She packed her ragged backpack with whatever supplies she could manage and glanced at her schedule. Her first class was also the worst class-P.E. Her arms were constantly stinging and she loathed wearing long-sleeves underneath the required P.E. uniform. She hated that she had to start her day off by working out and spending the rest of the day sweaty and sticky. As she prepared to take the subway to school, she complained to her absent mother about how horrible the day would be. She felt a twinge of annoyance but remained unamused, knowing that her mother wouldn't show up to drive her on her first day. Another one of her broken promises-nothing unusual there. She looked at her watch-crap, she had taken too long to find all her stuff-she was gonna be late. She rushed to the door, trying to avoid her reflection. She met her eyes with dislike and turned away, storming out the house to the underground.

When she got to the station, she was greeted by the sight of parents saying farewell to their children, wishing them good luck on the first day of school. She could easily tell they were in the same grade as her, carrying all the required textbooks and such. Normally, she would opt for the social route, introducing herself and getting to know what the people were like. But seeing all the support from their parents sent a pang of jealousy through Maya and she felt her heart harden a little. She hung her head down and kept her eyes to the grown as she passed the crowd of hugging and kissing and all that mushy stuff she hated, and she stepped into the train. She hated seeing signs of affection and she felt utter disgust at the view. Of course, the disgust wasn't directed towards the parents, or even the children-it was to her mother. If she was being more honest, it was to herself, but she barely acknowledged that before she shifted the focus on to the girls now stepping into the train.

There was a large variety of girls coming but they all seemed to have the immaturity of freshman, but the coldness of adults. It was strange how they looked so mean at such a young age. While most of the girls marched right past Maya into their own section in the back of the subway, a handful of the girls spared Maya a glance, then turned away without a word. An even fewer number actually smiled back at Maya. As the seats slowly filled up, no one sat next to her. Just as she thought all the girls were all filed out, another late straggler came in through the door. She looked around and saw the last two empty seats-one, next to Maya, and the other in the back of the train. At this point, Maya expected the girl to ignore Maya and go to the back of the train, just like all the others did. But they made eye contact and Maya saw a rare innocence in the girl's eyes-the type of innocence where it's almost like a childish kindness to them. She looked like a freshman, sure, but she didn't have the same adopted maliciousness in her eyes. Maya looked away, until the girl strode over to her and smiled.

"Hey, can I sit here?"

"Sure," Maya replied indifferently, "no problem."

"Thank you," the girl said ecstatically, "I'm Riley, what's your name?"


End file.
